Work in Progress (No, really)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Hate & The Desi Factor

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Desi people are haters. That should end game right there. 'Nuff said. But I'll take the time to waste some of your time and elaborate.

Example 1
Desi Dude one (which unfortunately we cannot henceforth refer to as doodh 1 since we would have to decide if it's 2% or 1% and truth be told, I'm only drink homo milk, but I think referring to a made-up character as homo doodh is probably not cool) walks in and his in deper-than-normal-people voice says:

Hey man! Like you know Allah Ditta Butt Saab has a new place? Have you been there yet and if so, how is it man?

The reply generally consists of several key elements. Allow desi dude numero dos two demonstrate. For descriptive purposes, desi dude numero two, is brown (as if it wasn't obvious) , a relatively chill person though he can show he can rage at times, but even then he's more Silver Stallone than Sylvester. He has the traditional unkempt beard and is rocking the a pair of fashionably-old chappal (and if we were to make it even more realistic, is probably still in his pajama -- solid color, stripes and patterns are just aren't conducive for sleeping). Anyways:

DDN2: Yeah man, I went there last week. It's good BUT...(several reasons listed)

The dreaded but (and no, we aren't talking about our owner Butt Saab or the loveable punjabi Butt from Alpha Bravo Charlie -- something you should probably watch once in your life). What proceeds then is like an iceberg that smashes into the Titanic. It's too expensive, not good,  the food was cold, the uncle jee was totally staring me down (better than the aunty jee doing it) something else.

All of which is generally fine except, if we change the scenario a bit, the results are radically different (in the post-2000s meaning of the word, as opposed to the surfer influenced pre-2000s meaning). Something like:

DD1: Hey man! You know Mr. Allan Davis who drives the Saab? He's got a new place now. You been yet? How was it dude?

DDN2: Yeah dawg, it was pretty totally cool bro. I thought it was kind of expensive BUT

Here, the but is not be feared (or reared). Why? Because good things will follow it, or at least things that aren't as damming as in the first scene.

The somewhat more serious of this horrible attempt to sound funny is that maybe we should be less judgmental (read: damming) of places that are owned by Pakistanis, Indians, Bengalis, Afghanis. I realize no one wants to pay for a bad product or service. I realize, desi people tend to screw over desi people. But let's not let that totally make our one-stop gut reaction for all things desi to be bad. (After all, everyone should aim for superiority and hope to land at mediocrity!). And for the record, yes I realize that your mom, chachi, chacha, tayya jaan, naani, daadi, saas, sussr, beti, beta, parosi, local hakeem, local shair and last but surely not least, candy wala can make it, and make it better. Unfortunately for us, she/he doesn't own a shop in the locality and/or isn't willing to drive all the way to where we are to drop it off/prepare it. Therefore, let's not mention him/her.

The ultimate message is don't deny these people and businesses of their chance at mediocrity without even giving them fair shot. And if you do give it a fair shot, try consciously to make sure it is actually fair. Because at the end of the day, if these people can't rely on people from their own communities helping them (unless we're talking about helping to run them out of business), then they're already starting with the odds against them. A community should help its own. We're not talking about blindly helping, but at least making somewhat of an effort.

I feel that it's fitting to end with a thought-provoking remark -- just like with all things in life, just look at how cheenay do it.

This post may or may not reflect the views of the author. We can for sure state though that it was inspired by an incident at a eating establishment, where the author walked in only to find the place pretty much empty, and the workers watching WWF (WWE?) of all things. This was a good two hours before closing. This scene caused the author to remember some conversations of yesteryear. 

Any likeness of characters mentioned or referred to in this post is purely  semi-fictional. 

Any shows referred to in this post, are timeless classics, and should be watched.


  1. reminds me of the psychological concept behind "own race bias" (u can just wiki that)